SILK ROAD SLUMBER

Anyone who knows me knows my steadfast belief in the duality of life. It is one of the core tenants of my approach to all situations – that it is impossible to understand anything without its opposing, seemingly contrasting forces. You can’t recognize good without knowing the concept of evil and you won’t truly feel happiness without having experienced despair. Just as computers rely on binary code, so too do people rely on contradictions to create complements. And yes, that is complements not compliments, look it up.

All of this factors into my love for ampersands (the symbol for “and” and my next tattoo #sorrymom) and names of restaurants/shops/spaces with an ‘and’ in them. It filters even further into one of my favourite sayings and the basis for this blog post; fashion and function. 

Fashion and function is a phrase I use on an almost daily basis, regarding literally anything that is at once aesthetically pleasing and practical. I mean it has gotten to a point where I just say it for sh*ts and giggles now because I love it that much. But any piece of clothing that exceeds its intended purpose and doubles as something else is a win by me. This definitely has to do with my penchant for cutting and altering clothes I become tired of (a hobby that developed at a young age so again #sorrymom). Those 3 t-shirt dresses I hadn’t worn in a year? Now all cute AF cropped tops for BodyJam. Wanted a loose fitting, down-to-my-bellybutton black cami but didn’t own one? Not until 5 minutes before leaving for the jol with a pair of scissors and some tape.

And with the rise in sleepwear as a huge trend, I was more than stoked when I realized my new silk pjs could be worn to a) just be cute, b) actually go to bed, c) rock out of the house and d) shoot on the streets of the Mother City. Sure, this realization came whilst changing outfits on the side of Beach Road between the boot and backseat of my best friend Faye Zoetmulder’s car, but apart from the shower that might be where I’ve had some of my best ideas.

So here we go, an ode to the streets of Cape Town and a sleep set that turned heads on them. Plus almost nothing in my life is complete without ice cream and the fact that this vegan beetroot, chocolate and ginger scoop from UNFRAMED perfectly contrasted – and complemented – my turquoise pyjama top is no small coincidence. I told you; FASHION AND FUNCTION.

Thank you once again to my phenomenal best for these rad images and for inspiring a day of creating content and owning my style choices. Oh, and for driving me around town. You are golden.

GET THE LOOK 

Sneakers: adidas Stan Smiths

Ripped Boyfriend Jeans: Pull & Bear

Silk Pyjama Top (part of a set): Forever 21

Sunglasses: Rayban

Earrings: Lovisa

Beaded Bag: Market in India #sozbabesPhoto Aug 12, 9 46 54 PMPhoto Aug 12, 9 41 48 PM

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I know it’s of me but I am literally obsessed with everything in this photo

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if only a man gave me this much to smile about
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the reality of shooting with ice cream is that yes Nina, you will spill it on your shirt.

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you’ve got mail

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secretly trying to scratch that spill off

 

Until next time xxx

Haute Hoodlum

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FASHION; ON THE ROCKS.

And so I’m back, from outer space. I just blogged up to find you here with that stoked look upon your face. #sorrynotsorry

Hello friends and lovers! I know this happens more often than it should but my apologies for acting like a typical guy in Hong Kong and ghosting* (ghosting: an all too common phrase by which a romantic interest disappears from your life/communication for absolutely no given reason). I’m the worst and I’m sorry but I promise I’m going to make it up to you. Starting now, with a brand spanking new, hot off the presses, fresh AF outfit post!

I recently flew back to South Africa as a complete surprise to EVERYONE. Like, E V E R Y O N E . I spent two soul replenishing weeks at home in PE doing my best to eat all the food in the city and make Mamma Mich Insta-famous. Then I filled my heart with love (and my belly with even more food) in Cape Town and Joburg before heading back to the madness that is the 852. And luckily for me, I got to spend time with one of my best friends and, conveniently enough, amazing photographer Faye Zoetmulder while in the Mother City. We played around with her new camera and my ability to clothes for weather less than 36 degrees or a typhoon (sorry Hong Kong but your summer can be gross) and here is one set of results from that adventure.  Because why would you not change outfits in a car in Bantry Bay and wear a ballerina princess skirt on a rock pool? WHY.  NOT.  EXACTLY.

I also used to pretend to be Ariel The Little Mermaid when she sits on the rock singing “Part Of Your World” with the waves splashing up behind her so this is basically my childhood dream come true. And if you do not know the reference I am making we can no longer be friends. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

So here you are, my apology for my silence. And a reminder that, no matter the setting.,you should be your most fabulous self and embrace opportunities to indulge your inner child. YAS QUEEN YAS.

Sneakers: adidas 

Skirt: H&M

T-shirt: GUCCI (hahahahahaha as if)

Denim Jacket: RVCA 

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Faye: “just frown into the camera as if the sun is in your eyes” Me: “it is”

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pretending to be cute but really concentrating on not slipping on algae

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whenever models have a shoot on a beach there is ALWAYS this photo. the lay-down-like-a-graceful-swan-but-also-look-sexy rock photo. think I nailed it.

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I got my second hole pierced in my ears and I want everyone to know about it

 

Until next time xxx

Haute Hoodlum

 

CITY OF ANGELS 2017

So the queen – Michelle, not the other one – turned 60 last month and to celebrate her big day (read: year), our family flew us out to Los Angeles for the most incredible 10 day trip. LA is a city of total contradictions; embodied best in my daily diet of salad for lunch and three tubs of ice cream on the drive home after. But it is also a city of so many facets, influences, ideas and inspirations. Anything goes, and nobody really cares.

So I decided to use that (and having my blogger boyfriend aka blogger mom back in service) as an excuse to dress up again. Hong Kong has a way of taking your style aspirations and calming them down to sandals and sneakers. Maybe its the heat and humidity, I don’t know, but being out and about in heels is not really a vibe here. At least within my experience. No one likes a sweaty betty and anyone who knows me knows that “fashion and function” is one of my life mottos. But LA was like a fashion playground, plus there was zero humidity to sweat through so dressing up was a little easier to do.

I’m lucky enough to have been to LA and done the touristy bits before and this was a holiday dedicated to being with my family and my best friend who just so happens to live there too (thank you universe for your blessings), so if you’re expecting to read on and find pictures of Universal Studios or the Hollywood sign you’re going to be gravely disappointed. Those of you who followed my Snapchats of the trip will know it consisted mostly of eating out – at the most fabbbbbb restaurants – and hanging out with my favourite people, tinged with a little shopping and culture for gees. So instead you’ll find a visual style diary (#OOTD on crack) and me indulging in my own narcissism because not only did I have the weather and opportunity but also people willing to put up with it. Shout out to my mom and Niks for all these style snaps!

Here’s to Los Angeles for giving me the most beautiful time with family and friends and for serving as the backdrop to a little boost in fashooooooooon. I tried new things and my style evolved into places as yet undefined.

I’ve since returned to the 852 with a newfound love for what I wear and how I wear it (plus a HEAP of new clothes and heels so suck it HK chill). Los Angeles reminded me of how much I love all of this and how happy I am being immersed in it.

Who’da thunk it? Hell A, Hell Yes.

Third Street Promenade | Santa Monica

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reuniting with my heart and a living wall? LA you got me GOOD
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Abbot Kinney Boulevard | Venice

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imagine how awkward it is asking your mom to take this photo. and then asking her to take some more.
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when the whole squad tryna be cute but people keep walking into your photos
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thanks for taking my nonsense with a smile and so much love big brother
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Ysabel | West Hollywood

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when your best friend’s boyfriend can’t figure out how not to be in the picture no matter where he stands
Melrose Avenue | West Hollywood

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street art ON POINT
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Farm Shop | Brentwood

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oh look I lost something on the ground again
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Venice Beach | Venice

 

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my little cousin is cooler than yours and my aunt will take photos to prove it
Arts District | Downtown Los Angeles

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Downtown Arts District is the BOMB
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my 185472nd ice cream of the week: Planet Earth and Purple Carrot featuring a drip down the hand
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when you stumble into an art exhibition about vaginas
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Antique Flea Market | Long Beach

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flea market steeeeeez
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TROLLLLLLLLLLLLS
RnD Kitchen | Santa Monica

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there I go again looking for change on the ground
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Local Kitchen | Santa Monica

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what would you do with a newspaper outside a restaurant called local? exactly
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we had to make Mich stand on the step so that she would look like a normal sized person next to her children #youshouldseetheotherphoto
Malibu

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Sometimes life imitates art. Other times you’re jet lagged and look like a moron and your brother takes a photo of it (that you secretly love)…

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Here’s to being excited about fashion again.

And making more people take my outfit photos.

Until next time xxx

Haute Hoodlum

MET GALA 2017: FOR WHO?

OH FFS. Am I really dealing with this again? REALLY?

No better way to get back to being a #blogger than having a meltdown over the lack of originality and commitment to a theme during fashion’s BIGGEST night – the Met Gala. This year’s Costume Institute exhibition pays homage to Rei Kawakubo: founder and creative director of COMME des GARÇONS (the first time the exhibition has been dedicated to a living designer in over thirty years). The first Monday in May, as the ball has come to be known – also the title of an awesome documentary on how the event comes to fruition – coincides with the launch of the exhibition and celebrities and fashion icons are expected to interpret the theme. But what are expectations these days anyway? Clearly nothing when it comes to 2017’s Met Gala because barely anyyyyyone stuck to the theme. I know the invitation read Rei Kawakubo/COMME des GARÇONS: The Art of in Between but in between still infers there is some relation, no? So either the majority of guests are illiterate or too narcissistic to respect the legend and creative brilliance of Kawakubo. Sure, people looked beautiful. But the theme was avant-garde, not beautiful. Take a goddamm risk. Wear something insane. Be outrageous. That’s what COMME des GARÇONS preaches. But no, we were too concerned with looking hot for our ex-boyfriends on the red carpet and getting all the likes on Instagram. Ugh, I’m so annoyed.

Luckily, luckily there were a select few who not only stuck to the theme but also did their part to honour the Japanese designer and so I will give them their due credit. But after that, I’m unleashing my inner Joan Rivers (RIP you fierce queen) because I cannot Comme Des F**k Down (haha, good one Nina).

once again Rihanna WINS the Met Gala. Wearing COMME des GARÇONS and all the confidence we’ve come to expect from the style icon, Bad Girl RiRi perfectly encapsulates the theme while still being sexy AF and fashion forward. dead, dead, dying, gone.
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everything about this is perfection. how does she do it EVERY TIME?

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MAISON MARGIELA
I know this is garish and almost revolting but it is so suited to the theme. it’s outlandish and practically unwearable and bordering on sculptural art and thus it reflects COMME des GARÇONS perfectly. well done Katy Perry, your Maison Margiela has done it for me. and what more do you want, hun. really?

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YESSSSSSSSS ZENDAYA! SLAY QUEEN!
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I know you can’t really tell if she has arms anymore or not but Helen Lasichanh (Pharell’s wife) wore custom COMME des GARÇONS in the iconic red of the house and owwwwwwwned.

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is it a dress? is it a trench? no, it’s Priyanka Chopra killing it and having the moment Rihanna had in that yellow gown extravaganza in 2015
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SENSATIONAL. PERFECTION. GLAMOURRRRRRRRR. LITERALLY THE ART OF IN BETWEEN.rs_634x1024-170501165851-634-met-gala-2017-arrivals-liu-wen

 

 

 

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YES. TAKE THOSE GENDER ROLES AND SWITCH THEM UPPPPPPPPP.

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couples that wears jewel-encrusted capes together, stays together
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paying tribute to the volume and texture associated with COMME des GARÇONS, Solange knocked it out in Thome Browne. also hi a puffer jacket on the Met steps? ya, can do.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017BURBERRY

CHANEL
some people hated it, I loved it. this is such a strong look and so different to anything else we saw on the Met steps.

 

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LV
because what is more avant-garde than rocking up on the red carpet clutching your ponytail of dreads? if he’s not careful, Balenciaga might just make a knock-off carry bag of this for $12000.

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now this is how to wear those up-to-your-vagina Balenciaga boots with a pop of avant-garde across that smouldering face

 

OSCAR DE LA RENTA
(not so) mildly obsessed with Zoe Kravitz in this Oscar De La Renta gown. she is just so cool.

CAROLINA HERRERA

another person to wear Kawakubo’s designs, Tracee Ellis Ross looked so cool. yes, I hate the shoes and want to burn them along with all of Madonna’s outfit(s for the past two decades); but she took a risk and played to the theme and I appreciate that.

Unfortunately, life can be a cruel, cruel roller coaster of horrendous emotions. And so my high from such breathtakingly bold sartorial fashion statements came crashing down like an adult-size Jenga tower.

HOW DARE YOU SHIRK THE THEME? A THEME THAT PRAISES A LIVING DESIGNER? A DESIGNER THAT CAN STILL SEE YOU AND HAVE AN OPINION OF WHAT YOU WORE TO HONOUR HER? HELLO THAT IS WAY MORE RESPONSIBILITY TO BE BETTER!

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM SO MAD.

This is like when you organize a birthday party with a theme and all people do is add a Mardi Gras beaded necklace they stole once from a shitty bar and some sunglasses. NO. UNACCEPTABLE.

Off with their heads!

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017
yes yes yes beautiful gorgeous blah blah blah. but, especially as a co-host to this event, you completely disregarded any notion of a theme! RUDE. RUDE. RUUUUUDE.
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no no no Bella my love. this pains me. I love you. but this is just NOT working. take that away from me and don’t save it for The Weeknd (get it? get it?)
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Sofia Richie you look like an animal suffering from an oil spill trying to be one of the cool kids with your leather jacket. sit yo dumb ass down.

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OMMY H
could have been cool. coulda woulda shoulda. and tuck your dam hair back.
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you’re so basic and predictable Kylie. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you pulled out a lip kit and starting swatching your left arm.

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Amy you look like a rubbish bag threw up in Batman’s closet.

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BUT WHY?
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literally just fell asleep looking at you
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my granny’s lampshade called and wants its fringe back
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between you and Mindy Kaling, my grandmother is now devoid of lampshades.

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this is fundamentally difficult for me because I love and respect you and you’re pregnant. but this is one of the most unflattering excuses for a dress I have ever laid eyes on. it looks cheap and nasty. none of which you are.
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starry starry nightMARE

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PRADA
Lupita, I love you and Prada so much but you look like a sea urchin trying to escape a tissue paper parade

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MARCHESA RITA
love your hair, hate that you look like a Christmas present at a slutty Halloween party

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were the theme Ballerina Lost in the Woods, you would have nailed it. but it wasn’t. so you didn’t. you are the weakest link, goodbye.
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I’m sorry but since when is Gwyneth sill relevant? you and Katie Holmes need to call an uber and GTFO.
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how is it that you are wearing one of the biggest names in fashion and subcultural cool and you look boring? Kim, not even Dame Vivienne Westwood helps you here.
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my skat Behati jy is so wonderlik maar WAT DIE FOK. I know you and your mate Candice probably just wanted to look beautiful after giving birth and as a woman I respect that, but DO MORE. YOU ARE AT AN AVANT-GARDE EVENT. the best this is is an edgy Matric Dance dress.
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sure, you look REALLY good debuting as a couple. but have some edge. you’re both young and have the ability to do so much more with fashion. especially the first Monday in May. this is underwhelming.
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everyone loved this but its so done. I’ve seen this before Lily Collins. or are you Rooney Mara? ag who cares.
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this literally happens every year but WHERE DOES YOUR SKIN START AND YOUR DRESS END?
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Karlie Kloss, you look like the even more lesbian version of Hillary Clinton in the 80s.

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please stop. and what is going on with your hair? is it just the offset of the person behind you or was that stupid spike intentional?
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talking of stupid spikes…
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Madonna you genuinely give me the heebie jeebies at the best of times and now because you look like if the Blair Witch Project went to bootcamp.

Cannot.

I need a drink.

Until next time xxx

Haute Hoodlum

KALEIDOSCOPE

“Fashion and function” is a phrase I use almost every single day and albeit most of the time I mean it in some irrelevant, satirical way it is actually a concept I believe quite passionately in.

As someone with a vested interest in- and genuine affection for fashion (and any display or expression of creativity and design), I often wish that I had an endless supply of new clothes or money so that I could play dress up in fabulous pieces every day. But unfortunately no one has offered me that coveted prize yet and so I have to deal with the fact that I have a budget and a very small Hong Kong apartment. So although I own some more bold, statement items and far too many pairs of shoes and sunglasses, I have a total appreciation for clothes that are multi-purpose and easily incorporated into existing wardrobes and reinvigorated outfit choices.

One such item is the ultimate classic: The LBD. Black is a colour I have, ironically because it is so slimming, only recently fallen so in love with now that I am more comfortable with my body. I’ve mentioned before that I used to wear clothes that were ‘loud’ in order to hide my physical insecurities; but with growing confidence has come the injection of solid, block colours, monochromatic styling tricks and simple lines. This is not to say that I don’t love to play with colour or texture, just that you’ll see me in neutral shades and subtle sartorial combinations more often now than before. So the LBD is a perfect fit. Plus it is so versatile. And while the staple item is already in my wardrobe (or clothing rail if we’re being honest about the size of my HK apartment and two suitcases still in storage); there is a new addition to this aesthetic: The LBS (Little Black Skirt). Thanks to a sale at Zara and a newfound appreciation for simplicity, this skirt will now play the lead in a series of three look posts, with this being the first. I want to show you guys how easy it is to style one piece in multiple ways so that you don’t need to break the bank for new outfits. Plus it aids an individual solution to the problem of fast fashion and wasted consumerism that is already a huge issue (but let’s not get political because between us all I think there’s quite enough of that).

So here we go; Look 1/3 and the final outfit post shot back home with The Queen, Mamma Mich. Just because I love black does not mean I won’t indulge in a little sparkle or a kaleidoscopic backdrop of fun. This is me, after all.

Have fun kids. Watch this space for upcoming posts on how to take one very simple item of clothing and transform it into remixed looks that keep things funky fresh.

Silver Brogues: Zara (but also actually Mamma Mich’s that were a size too small)

Skirt: Zara

Cropped Tee: Topshop 

Watch: Truworths

Sunnies: MAPLE

Bag: Miniso

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juxtaposition is my favourite word in the English language because it encompasses life and also the aesthetics behind this blog post

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sometimes I have to take horrendously stupid photos like this to remind myself that actually I’m more moron than model in front of the camera. unless it’s a Snapchat selfie in which case I’m obviously the best.

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good Lord but I love this woman and her commitment to my vanity
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ok fine PE. sometimes you have cool shit.

Until next time xx

Haute Hoodlum

 

 

SLAY-MAS 2016

QUEEN BEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

HALLELUUUUUUUUUU

Basically the 2016 MTV VMAs were all about Beyoncé (ok and a little bit of Rihanna and the confession of love from Drake). But mainly Beyoncé. Like, all Beyoncé. Pretty much it was the BEY-MAs. And Bey slayed.

But there were also some other absolute winners – both on and off the stage. From the red carpet to the performances; I am proud to say that the 2016 Video Music Awards showed off some maaaaaaaaaajor fashion moments.

Here we go – the best dressed from this years event. Lord how happy I am that such magical souls do exist and that they redeem fashion for me. I can breathe happy again.

Starting off of course with Beyoncé, who had so many SENSATIONAL outfit changes that somehow all worked within a coherent aesthetic. Dammit this woman is so incredible I cannot.

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the greatest accessory? an adorably chic princess daughter.
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Taylor, THIS is a squad!
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most awarded musician in VMA history

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2016 MTV Video Music Awards - Show
slayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Strong, beautiful women were the stars of the show and my girl RiRi killllllllllllled it in her opening performance and acceptance of the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award. If anyone can pull of power in head-to-toe baby pink, it’s this bad ass bitch.

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2016 MTV Video Music Awards - Show
can we actuaally die at Drake’s cheesy AF smile here. shame.

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Celebrity Sightings in New York City - August 28, 2016
Rihanna can pull off so many looks, from hardcore pimp to 1920s feminine chic – this after party ensemble is on point.

Another stand-out look has to be Kim Kardashian-West. I have to pay my respects here – she has clearly been working very hard on getting her body back to a place she is proud of and comfortable in and she looked unbeeeeeelievable at the VMAs. this dress showed off all the right curves and hugged her body so well. I am also SO into this wet-hair look that downplays the sultry seductress she is. and for once, Kanye (literally) stood back out of the spotlight. At least for this moment on the red carpet.

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I MEAN COME ON THE WOMAN IS BEAUTIFUL

Some other sartorial highlights include…

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look. to be perfectly honest she’s clearly had work done and her toes are squelching out of her shoes (my pet peeve) but Britney, your body is on fire and you finally made your VMA comeback like a winner. now if you could only have transferred that to your carpool karaoke stint…
2016 MTV Video Music Awards - Show
it’s Britney bitch!
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PHENOMENAL.
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can’t fult Nicki here, embracing her famous curves in this exquisite dress!

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love this simple but dramatic all white, major cape ensemble.

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stella-maxwell-jeremy-scott-mtv-vmas-2016
Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell and Jeremy SWcott both in Moschino (duh). this is so youthful and fun but still fashion. well done you two, well well done.

gettyimages-597562162hailee-steinfeld-mtv-vmas-2016

chance-the-rapper-mtv-vmas-2016
obsessed with Chance The Rapper (his album Colouring Book is on repeat ALL DAY). obsessed with this overalls/man-of-the-people/painter look. obsessed with this pose.

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desiigner-mtv-vmas-2016
blush is my new favourite colour and for some reason I love that he didn’t wear a shirt. totally ok with the 1970s Miami drug dealer VIP thing going on. you do you boo.

dj-khaled-2016-mtv-vmas

jaden-smith-mtv-vmas-2016
love the paneling and print on this coat. Jaden Smith, you are so dam cool.

 

Until next time xx

Haute Hoodlum

VMAS 2016: SIT THE HELL DOWN

I’M BACK, BITCHES!

And after an entire day of Kanye West’s new album Life of Pablo on repeat, I am feeling ready to dish out some harsh truths; channeling my inner Yeezus and calling celebs out on their failures and shortcomings on last night’s MTV VMA red carpet.

And I’m not holding back either. Sure, there were some outfits that were fiiiiiine. Or even pretty good,with something just a little off. But I don’t have the time or the energy to sit on the fence with these celebs anymore you know why? Because sitting on the fence while something just not quite right gains popularity until it’s too late to realize they were wrong from the beginning is how America finds itself with an oompa loompa racist Republican Presidential candidate. (ok maybe Kanye is getting to me a little)

Usually creating this post causes so much inner anger and disappointment, but this time there were so many LOLs. Like I am actually sitting at my desk cracking up at how ridiculous some of these idiots look. The guy in the building across from me looking through his window definitely thinks I’m a looney toon. Shame.

Here we gooooooooo.

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bloody typical Ariana. ugh this chick really annoys me SO MUCH. how basic can you be? I hope you trip over those horribly ill-fitted pants and bad dye job.

vmas-019.nocrop.w1800.h1330.2xzara-larsson-mtv-vmas-2016

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I actually really like Ashley Graham and have so much respect for what she’s doing to challenge the beauty norms in the fashion industry; which is why I wish she had just done better than this. that’s all.

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JoJo this look is a NoNo. go home.
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it’s the hair. it reminds me of some kind of Simpsons character on a bad acid trip. and really Cassie, one button would be more than enough.
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these look like a pair of jeans I never bought from Edgars in 2003
alessia-cara-mtv-vmas-2016
classic high school house party “I’m too cool to care what you think of me but secretly I really do”
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sorry but I just hate this.AND THOSE SHOES? NEE FOK SIES.
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before you even have the chance To raise your eyebrows at me let me start off by saying this has nothing to do with her not wearing makeup. I fugging LOVE that Alicia Keys is embracing her natural beauty and exposing the expectations that society puts on women. ok? so shut up now haters. my issue is this horrific dress. such a strong, talented and beautiful woman should not be hidden underneath some hideously confused Hawaiian print/Shakespearean style frump of a frock. the dress is fugging UGLY and she deserves better. no more no less.

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is Taylor Hill aware of the fact that most of her dress got stuck at the top of the escalator and ripped off?
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two words: camel toe.

 

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love Tove Lo. love sneakers. love sneakers on the red carpet. love big sleeves for this season. hate when it looks like you’re trapped in a restraining jacket.
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I just expect so much more from you; Amazonian goddess like Angel Joan Smalls.
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I don’t know who you are but I can’t tell where your legs end and the floor begins and its making me very uncomfortable
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA all I want to do here is insert the crying cat emoji because this is utterly hilarious

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having some real nasty feelings towards that bomber jacket Nick Jonas…
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LANCE BASS YOU ARE KILLING ME HERE! you know you’ve taken #ThrowbackThursday a little too far when you’re exploding out of your once-famous 1998 boy band ensemble.
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who were those vampires in Twilight that lived in The Vatican or whatever and made all eternal decisions? cos I think Kent Jones missed his appointment with them.
ansel-elgort-mtv-vmas-2016
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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if this were a magazine cover shoot or really almost anything else I would applaud this D-Rate MTV reality show couple. but I just can’t quite grasp how this (very) pregnant woman dealt with this at the VMAs? wasn’t she cold? how could she expose her unborn baby to such unfortunate fashion choices and lip-syncing? ugh so many unanswered questions.

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dnce-mtv-vmas-2016
never would have guessed that the texas chainsaw massacre, the high school glee club football captain, the cool emo-esque Asian stripper and a country star dad were in a band. together. as one. (also that genuinely hurts me to say because I have a very real crush on Joe Jonas but I just cannot).
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should have worked from home, Fifth Harmony

 

Woooh, I need to lie down. Being a fashion authority is so draining. That and delayed jet lag.

Until next time xx

Haute Hoodlum