MET GALA 2017: FOR WHO?

OH FFS. Am I really dealing with this again? REALLY?

No better way to get back to being a #blogger than having a meltdown over the lack of originality and commitment to a theme during fashion’s BIGGEST night – the Met Gala. This year’s Costume Institute exhibition pays homage to Rei Kawakubo: founder and creative director of COMME des GARÇONS (the first time the exhibition has been dedicated to a living designer in over thirty years). The first Monday in May, as the ball has come to be known – also the title of an awesome documentary on how the event comes to fruition – coincides with the launch of the exhibition and celebrities and fashion icons are expected to interpret the theme. But what are expectations these days anyway? Clearly nothing when it comes to 2017’s Met Gala because barely anyyyyyone stuck to the theme. I know the invitation read Rei Kawakubo/COMME des GARÇONS: The Art of in Between but in between still infers there is some relation, no? So either the majority of guests are illiterate or too narcissistic to respect the legend and creative brilliance of Kawakubo. Sure, people looked beautiful. But the theme was avant-garde, not beautiful. Take a goddamm risk. Wear something insane. Be outrageous. That’s what COMME des GARÇONS preaches. But no, we were too concerned with looking hot for our ex-boyfriends on the red carpet and getting all the likes on Instagram. Ugh, I’m so annoyed.

Luckily, luckily there were a select few who not only stuck to the theme but also did their part to honour the Japanese designer and so I will give them their due credit. But after that, I’m unleashing my inner Joan Rivers (RIP you fierce queen) because I cannot Comme Des F**k Down (haha, good one Nina).

once again Rihanna WINS the Met Gala. Wearing COMME des GARÇONS and all the confidence we’ve come to expect from the style icon, Bad Girl RiRi perfectly encapsulates the theme while still being sexy AF and fashion forward. dead, dead, dying, gone.
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everything about this is perfection. how does she do it EVERY TIME?

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MAISON MARGIELA
I know this is garish and almost revolting but it is so suited to the theme. it’s outlandish and practically unwearable and bordering on sculptural art and thus it reflects COMME des GARÇONS perfectly. well done Katy Perry, your Maison Margiela has done it for me. and what more do you want, hun. really?

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YESSSSSSSSS ZENDAYA! SLAY QUEEN!
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I know you can’t really tell if she has arms anymore or not but Helen Lasichanh (Pharell’s wife) wore custom COMME des GARÇONS in the iconic red of the house and owwwwwwwned.

050117-met-gala-2017-julianne-moore

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is it a dress? is it a trench? no, it’s Priyanka Chopra killing it and having the moment Rihanna had in that yellow gown extravaganza in 2015
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SENSATIONAL. PERFECTION. GLAMOURRRRRRRRR. LITERALLY THE ART OF IN BETWEEN.rs_634x1024-170501165851-634-met-gala-2017-arrivals-liu-wen

 

 

 

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YES. TAKE THOSE GENDER ROLES AND SWITCH THEM UPPPPPPPPP.

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050117-met-gala-2017-sean-combs
couples that wears jewel-encrusted capes together, stays together
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paying tribute to the volume and texture associated with COMME des GARÇONS, Solange knocked it out in Thome Browne. also hi a puffer jacket on the Met steps? ya, can do.

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017BURBERRY

CHANEL
some people hated it, I loved it. this is such a strong look and so different to anything else we saw on the Met steps.

 

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LV
because what is more avant-garde than rocking up on the red carpet clutching your ponytail of dreads? if he’s not careful, Balenciaga might just make a knock-off carry bag of this for $12000.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

now this is how to wear those up-to-your-vagina Balenciaga boots with a pop of avant-garde across that smouldering face

 

OSCAR DE LA RENTA
(not so) mildly obsessed with Zoe Kravitz in this Oscar De La Renta gown. she is just so cool.

CAROLINA HERRERA

another person to wear Kawakubo’s designs, Tracee Ellis Ross looked so cool. yes, I hate the shoes and want to burn them along with all of Madonna’s outfit(s for the past two decades); but she took a risk and played to the theme and I appreciate that.

Unfortunately, life can be a cruel, cruel roller coaster of horrendous emotions. And so my high from such breathtakingly bold sartorial fashion statements came crashing down like an adult-size Jenga tower.

HOW DARE YOU SHIRK THE THEME? A THEME THAT PRAISES A LIVING DESIGNER? A DESIGNER THAT CAN STILL SEE YOU AND HAVE AN OPINION OF WHAT YOU WORE TO HONOUR HER? HELLO THAT IS WAY MORE RESPONSIBILITY TO BE BETTER!

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM SO MAD.

This is like when you organize a birthday party with a theme and all people do is add a Mardi Gras beaded necklace they stole once from a shitty bar and some sunglasses. NO. UNACCEPTABLE.

Off with their heads!

The Costume Institute Benefit celebrating the opening of Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art of the In-Between, Arrivals, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA - 01 May 2017
yes yes yes beautiful gorgeous blah blah blah. but, especially as a co-host to this event, you completely disregarded any notion of a theme! RUDE. RUDE. RUUUUUDE.
04Metfashion-E-1493719257060-blog427 WANG
no no no Bella my love. this pains me. I love you. but this is just NOT working. take that away from me and don’t save it for The Weeknd (get it? get it?)
"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals
Sofia Richie you look like an animal suffering from an oil spill trying to be one of the cool kids with your leather jacket. sit yo dumb ass down.

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OMMY H
could have been cool. coulda woulda shoulda. and tuck your dam hair back.
"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals
you’re so basic and predictable Kylie. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you pulled out a lip kit and starting swatching your left arm.

050117-met-gala-2017-candice-swanepoel

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals
Amy you look like a rubbish bag threw up in Batman’s closet.

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050117-met-gala-2017-katie-holmes
BUT WHY?
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literally just fell asleep looking at you
"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals
my granny’s lampshade called and wants its fringe back
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between you and Mindy Kaling, my grandmother is now devoid of lampshades.

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050117-met-gala-2017-serena-williams-2
this is fundamentally difficult for me because I love and respect you and you’re pregnant. but this is one of the most unflattering excuses for a dress I have ever laid eyes on. it looks cheap and nasty. none of which you are.
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starry starry nightMARE

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PRADA
Lupita, I love you and Prada so much but you look like a sea urchin trying to escape a tissue paper parade

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

MARCHESA RITA
love your hair, hate that you look like a Christmas present at a slutty Halloween party

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

050117-met-gala-2017-lily-rose-depp
were the theme Ballerina Lost in the Woods, you would have nailed it. but it wasn’t. so you didn’t. you are the weakest link, goodbye.
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I’m sorry but since when is Gwyneth sill relevant? you and Katie Holmes need to call an uber and GTFO.
WESTWOOD
how is it that you are wearing one of the biggest names in fashion and subcultural cool and you look boring? Kim, not even Dame Vivienne Westwood helps you here.
TOPSHOP
my skat Behati jy is so wonderlik maar WAT DIE FOK. I know you and your mate Candice probably just wanted to look beautiful after giving birth and as a woman I respect that, but DO MORE. YOU ARE AT AN AVANT-GARDE EVENT. the best this is is an edgy Matric Dance dress.
050117-met-gala-2017-selena-gomez
sure, you look REALLY good debuting as a couple. but have some edge. you’re both young and have the ability to do so much more with fashion. especially the first Monday in May. this is underwhelming.
"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals
everyone loved this but its so done. I’ve seen this before Lily Collins. or are you Rooney Mara? ag who cares.
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this literally happens every year but WHERE DOES YOUR SKIN START AND YOUR DRESS END?
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Karlie Kloss, you look like the even more lesbian version of Hillary Clinton in the 80s.

"Rei Kawakubo/Comme des Garcons: Art Of The In-Between" Costume Institute Gala - Arrivals

050117-met-gala-2017-daisy-ridley
please stop. and what is going on with your hair? is it just the offset of the person behind you or was that stupid spike intentional?
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talking of stupid spikes…
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Madonna you genuinely give me the heebie jeebies at the best of times and now because you look like if the Blair Witch Project went to bootcamp.

Cannot.

I need a drink.

Until next time xxx

Haute Hoodlum

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