Monday blues. They’re a real thing. And the perfect setting for the tragic disappointments on the BFA red carpet last week. I started off excited and quite confident that my favourite accent would prevail and the Brits would wow me with some spectacular fashion. Sure, there were some incredible choices made and some beeeeeeautiful pieces throughout the night (see my previous post); but once again I was underwhelmed by a majority of fashion icons and usually flawless figures.
Why oh whyyyyyyyyyyy must some people be so unashamedly clueless? I simply do not get it. Ok fine, not everyone has the passion and eye for trends and what works on their body but hello that is why you have stylists! I have said it so many times and I will say it again – you cannot all afford to dress yourselves but FFS you can afford someone who knows what they are doing. Although if we are going to be perfectly honest I wonder if some of these mishaps come from a calculated stylist decision (even worse).
However, what is most upsetting in all of this is that the people who dictate what we wear and how we style it are oftentimes the ones screwing it up the most! Seriously, WTF?
So here you have it, the worst of the worst at an event celebrating and awarding fashion. It is the biggest mystery. But perhaps it will remind you that even the most successful, influential and coveted style mavens GET IT WRONG (and even supermodels can look stupid).
BFA 2014 you totally sucked here.
I actually cannot even believe I am putting her on this list. The queen of everything, Anna Wintour, seriously missed the mark in my eyes. I fear there may now be a special spot in fashion hell reserved just for me but I just don’t get it. She could literally wear anything (I mean the woman is best friends with every designer and stylist ever in the history of the world and she chooses this shmutzik stupid flower dress and frilly shoes?) I just. I can’t. And I’m sorry. I am so sorry.
And it doesn’t end there.
So many prom dresses. From the 80s. That your mom helped your grandmother make. On a budget.
And then the after party happened. And things just got weird.
So last night saw the 2014 British Fashion Awards held in my favourite city ever, London. Celebrities, fashion icons and socialites all strolled the red carpet and massive green hedge in their best threads. Well, some of them. Those of you who have followed Haute Hoodlum this year will know that I have been tragically underwhelmed at fashion’s biggest nights and events; with the most revered players often massively disappointing me. BOO.
Last was not dissimilar. However, that list of disasters is a story all on its own and this post is about celebrating those who took risks (that pulled off) and looked like FASHION.
You may not agree with all my choices, and that is perfectly acceptable because fashion is, after all, highly subjective. But I think you will be on my side when it comes to some of these beauties.
Without further adieu, here are my favourite looks from last night’s BFAs. You’ll notice a definite trend in the plethora of small box clutches with cartoon-esque features, and an array of Emilia Wickstead designs seen on some of the biggest names in fashion; but other than that there was a huge mix of looks and styling last night which makes being an observer all the sweeter.
I have to give a massive round of applause/special mention/praise to the men on the BFA red carpet because HOT DAMN they turned that shit UP.
It is one of my favourite things when menswear gets a little edge to it (check out my post on the exciting alternatives to traditional male fashion) so I am thrilled at what went down last night.
The after party also saw some showstoppers…
And then this happened:
Let me know who you think rocked the red carpet and watch this space for the volcano of hideous fashion DON’TS that is coming…