“New Year, New Me” clearly has not managed to infiltrate the stylist circle of Hollywood because the 2016 Golden Globes red carpet just killed me. The awards took place on Sunday (Sunday Not-So-Funday after watching these hideous frocks gallivant down the carpet) and as usual, I was disappointed. What is going on over there? Is there something in the ever-decreasing California water that has caused the disastrous style movement of wearing boring, been-there-worn-that pieces? Dejavu is no fun when what you’re seeing is a bunch of rubbish.
But all for a good cause – a Haute Hoodlum red carpet rant. The first of the year, nogal!
So sit back and get ready to start throwing your popcorn at the screen. Oh no wait, that’s not what this is…
These next few dresses I have a serious problem with. Nudes and neutrals can be a smash hit on the red carpet and there have been some exquiiiiiiiisite dresses in recent years that were on the skin-tone spectrum. But when I cannot tell where you end and your dresses begins, you’re going to be on this list. I do not wish to play and hide with you and what you’re wearing.
That’s it for now. Keep an eye open for the best-dressed list, because luckily for my heart and soul there are those who actually do it right.
Ok, I can breathe again. There is a light at the end of the very dark and hideous fashion tunnel.
Below are my choices for best dressed at this year’s Met Gala. I already know that some people are going to disagree wholeheartedly and that is totally cool. One of fashion’s greatest values is its ability to initiate conversation formed from a difference of opinions. Style is subjective, too, so we will never agree on everything. So let me know who you loved or hated in the comments section at the end of this post; I would really love to hear from you guys!
Some of these looks are my favourite because they are just exquisite and beautifully styled (from shoes and accessories to hair and makeup). But most of them are more beautiful to me because they either represent a fashion risk (this night is all about couture, innovative style, and fashion MOMENTS, after all) or because they actually took the theme to heart. For those who are unsure; the Met Gala is hosted at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and takes place the same day that the museum opens its annual fashion exhibition. The theme for the gala is extrapolated from the exhibition – they are not the same but are similar. The 2015 fashion exhibition at the Met is China: Through The Looking Glass and the gala followed with a theme that encapsulates just that in forms of art and fashion.
A lot of people blatantly ignore the theme and that kinda pisses me off. So when someone incorporates it into their ensemble; I am already looking at it more closely and with more respect. At least, initially.
So here we are, my best dressed from Monday’s Met Gala…
As usual, RIRI pulled out all the stops and has created a massive divide between those who love this and those who absolutely hate it (or as Sam Sam so brilliantly put it, thinks it looks like scrambled egg; which I actually cannot argue with). But the more I look at this, the more I die of obsession over it. That fabric is PHENOMENAL and the train is everything. This is the goddam Met Gala people; so why not? This is fashion. It’s couture. It’s a risk. It is dramatic to the next lev. IT IS PERFECTION.
Let’s hear it for the boys…
Thank the Pope for these beauties. Now I can sleep peacefully.
Fashion’s biggest night happens the same weekwend every year. It is an annual event that is firmly marked on the fashion calendar. It’s a social event that brings celebrities from all over the world to New York City. To The Metropolitan Museum of Art on 5th Avenue, to be exact.
It isn’t a surprise. It isn’t a flash mob event. It doesn’t creep up on you out of nowhere. SO WHY ARE YOU SO GROSSLY UNPREPARED AND UNDER DRESSED? UGH!
The theme follows the exhibition (China: Through The Looking Glass) that shows at the museum and is premiered the day of the gala. This year was Chinese Whispers: Tales of the East in Art, Film, and Fashion. Everyone was worried about cultural insensitivity and wrongful appropriation. Seems we overlooked the simple truth of hideous fashion. AND ALL THOSE RUFFLES.
I feel like I should just resign myself to the fact that these outings are always preceded with hopeful anticipation and high standards of excellence but, in actual fact, fall short of the hype. Nina, it is time to be realistic about how utterly useless and sartorially stupid some people are.
Without further adieu, here are my worst dressed from the Met Gala 2015:
This first group makes my worst-dressed list because I have come to expect so much from them in terms of their fashion choices and style risks; especially on the Met red carpet. They have wowed me before, but this year just didn’t cut it. Shame on you.
Now we move onto the just plain ugly. Brace yourselves.
Oh, you thought I wasn’t going to post my worst dressed from the 87th Academy Awards just because I was so impressed with the red carpet? You thought that because I was on site on events all day and contracted the Black Plague that I would rid you of your sartorial pleasures by not dishing out harsh criticisms? You thought I would spare those idiots that thought they rocked the red carpet?
Always, always be prepared for a Haute Hoodlum rant because let’s face it – it’s what I do. Tearing through the mirage of golden gowns and exposing those stupid enough to wear a dress that doesn’t fit and looks terrible and is just plain hideous is one of my greatest strengths (and joys in life). Awards Season is now over and you, my sweet loves, shall be treated to one last worst dressed of the period: The Oscars. Hollywood’s biggest night and, so often, fashion’s biggest failures.
I don’t need to go into detail about the underwhelming nature of expectant red carpets (I realize that sounds like red carpets who are 8 months pregnant but I have the flu so please overlook that) so, for the last time this season, I will leave you with my choices for the train wreck catastrophes at the 2015 Oscars.
Have fun little darlings…
Julianne Moore, I have a bone to pick with you. This entire Awards Season you have been absolutely killing it in the fashion department. You have shown all these young girls how to dress with class and sex appeal and have worn some of the most exquisite gowns I have ever seen. You are also pasty with red hair and yet you have looked INCREDIBLE every single time. You have also won every single time. So surely, suuuuurely, you at least had an inkling that you would win the Oscar. In my mind that means wearing the most sensational dress that flatters you in all the right ways and makes you look like the glamourous, beautiful woman and movie star that you are. So you went with Chanel. A good choice for a winner. But this Chanel? ARE YOU FVCKING KIDDING ME? This dress is the same colour as your above mentioned pasty skin and, albeit exquisite on the runway or on a model, is so completely underwhelming on you. It does not hug your curves or enhance your figure and simply does not make an impact. And that makes me very sad.
And then, just when you thought that you had made sense of the pitfalls and wrapped your head around these style sacrifices; this bint arrived looking like a bad comedown. I don’t know who you are or what your deal is, but if you are going to walk the Oscars red carpet then please refrain from looking like a drug-induced prozzie that made her dress out of leftover Asian restaurant curtains and silk from the hotel she snuck out of at 5am.
And so it finally happened – the biggest night in awards season took place last night and after all the huffing and puffing we eventually wound up with some spectacular red carpet fashion choices! The 87th Annual Academy Awards marked the end of a long and often treacherous awards season that had its fair share of dreary dresses and WHAT THE ACTUALS? But there is a light at the end of that dark fashion don’ts tunnel, and that light shone bright last night.
Don’t get too excited, there is MUH-HOST DEFS a red carpet rant in the wings; but for now let us revel in the wows and yesses and the oh-my-goodness-she-finally-got-it-rights!
No surprise as to the night’s biggest winners in terms of who took home little golden men; but I am happy to report that some of this season’s worst dressed pulled their shit together (or hired new stylists) and NAILED it. I’m looking at you, Rosamund Pike.
The Oscars stuck to a colour palette of mostly monochrome, sparkles and nudes, with a few stars going for bold and bright primary colours: trends that echo the entire season and are a surefire sign of what’s to come in department stores and local lookbooks in the coming months.
So here we go, the end of the journey and my penultimate post for the 2015 Awards Show series: the best dressed at the 87th Academy Awards.
Let me know your thoughts and if you like what you see here, don’t be afraid to hit that follow button! There is so much in store for Haute Hoodlum this year, you really don’t want to miss out (plus I literally get funnier every day).
My goodness, how long has this taken? Too long, duh. But let us not look a gift horse in the mouth because the Fashion Gods have smiled upon us mere mortals and presented us with actual wow moments on a red carpet. The 2015 BAFTAS was a roaring success sartorially, and I am so thrilled to be sitting here writing this post. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love the Brits and how much I love London. And fashion. So when you combine all of these elements into one shining beacon of cinematic stardom; well ya got me. Ya got me gooooooood.
The BAFTAS took place the same night as The Grammys and ICMYI, I already rounded up my best and worst dressed from the music awards earlier this week. But thank goodness for the BAFTAS because there is strength in redemption and light at the end of a very dark awards season tunnel. This is not to say there weren’t some terrors on the red carpet; but there might not have been enough to warrant a rant (say that fast ten times).
So here you go, the belles of the ball (and the beaus, too) that restored my hope in celebrity style.
And in case that wasn’t enough, this happened at the Chanel pre-BAFTA party: Tom Ford and Julianne Moore partied like it was 1999.
Every year, music’s biggest night evolves and incorporates some of the most fascinating fashion moments in history. I mean, who can forget J.Lo’s plunging green Versace dress, Lady Gaga’s egg or Pharrell’s hat? The Grammys are filled with loud, bold statements and absolute divergences from what we expect on a red carpet. Musicians and models take to the awards show like a coked out troupe of dress up dolls; playing with the notion of style and pretty much throwing out all rules. But oh ho ho how it makes for such classic entertainment!
The Grammys always provides us with talking points – good and bad – and you have to accept that there is going to be a high dose of bat-shit-crazy on that carpet; and that is why we love it. There is always something. And 2015 was no different. Everyone and their mother is talking about RIRI (who has come back with a bang and is having a serious moment – have a look at her JAWS anniversary editorial with Harpers Bazaar US here and her i-D cover here) and her Giambattista Valli Couture dress that came straight off the SS’15 runway. That dress was my favourite piece from the collection and she wore it to PERFECTION. So all you haters can shut the front door and revisit your opinions because Rihanna killed it.
There were some utterly ridiculous outfits at this year’s Grammys (I’m talking to you, Madonna) but the red carpet rant will be posted tomorrow so watch this space. For now, let us brighten up this dreary Monday with the best looks from the 2015 Grammys.
Remember, I love hearing what you guys think so please comment below and let me know who hit all the right notes!
Now you all know how I feel about Taylor Vomit-In-My-Mouth Swift; but I have absolutely got to give the girl credit for this exquisite Elie Saab gown (the shoes are a step too far for me but I’m bias and will find any flaw I can). She may make me want to hurl myself over a cliff but she looked phenom last night so there.
Most of us hate Kimye but they looked insane last night. Totally approps for the Grammys and perfectly styled. She is annoying as fvck and he is the most arrogant person alive but they worked it OUT at this year’s Grammys.
Then let’s have a moment for Jane Fonda; because if you can show up to the Grammys with your 1983 hairdo wearing a sparkly green Balmain jumpsuit at the age of 105 and look this good; then I salute you.
Keep your eyes peeled for the my next post which will cover the musical malevolence on the Grammys red carpet. Trust me, that one’s gonna be fun.