OH FFS. Am I really dealing with this again? REALLY?
No better way to get back to being a #blogger than having a meltdown over the lack of originality and commitment to a theme during fashion’s BIGGEST night – the Met Gala. This year’s Costume Institute exhibition pays homage to Rei Kawakubo: founder and creative director of COMME des GARÇONS (the first time the exhibition has been dedicated to a living designer in over thirty years). The first Monday in May, as the ball has come to be known – also the title of an awesome documentary on how the event comes to fruition – coincides with the launch of the exhibition and celebrities and fashion icons are expected to interpret the theme. But what are expectations these days anyway? Clearly nothing when it comes to 2017’s Met Gala because barely anyyyyyone stuck to the theme. I know the invitation read Rei Kawakubo/COMME des GARÇONS: The Art of in Between but in between still infers there is some relation, no? So either the majority of guests are illiterate or too narcissistic to respect the legend and creative brilliance of Kawakubo. Sure, people looked beautiful. But the theme was avant-garde, not beautiful. Take a goddamm risk. Wear something insane. Be outrageous. That’s what COMME des GARÇONS preaches. But no, we were too concerned with looking hot for our ex-boyfriends on the red carpet and getting all the likes on Instagram. Ugh, I’m so annoyed.
Luckily, luckily there were a select few who not only stuck to the theme but also did their part to honour the Japanese designer and so I will give them their due credit. But after that, I’m unleashing my inner Joan Rivers (RIP you fierce queen) because I cannot Comme Des F**k Down (haha, good one Nina).
Unfortunately, life can be a cruel, cruel roller coaster of horrendous emotions. And so my high from such breathtakingly bold sartorial fashion statements came crashing down like an adult-size Jenga tower.
HOW DARE YOU SHIRK THE THEME? A THEME THAT PRAISES A LIVING DESIGNER? A DESIGNER THAT CAN STILL SEE YOU AND HAVE AN OPINION OF WHAT YOU WORE TO HONOUR HER? HELLO THAT IS WAY MORE RESPONSIBILITY TO BE BETTER!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM SO MAD.
This is like when you organize a birthday party with a theme and all people do is add a Mardi Gras beaded necklace they stole once from a shitty bar and some sunglasses. NO. UNACCEPTABLE.
“New Year, New Me” clearly has not managed to infiltrate the stylist circle of Hollywood because the 2016 Golden Globes red carpet just killed me. The awards took place on Sunday (Sunday Not-So-Funday after watching these hideous frocks gallivant down the carpet) and as usual, I was disappointed. What is going on over there? Is there something in the ever-decreasing California water that has caused the disastrous style movement of wearing boring, been-there-worn-that pieces? Dejavu is no fun when what you’re seeing is a bunch of rubbish.
But all for a good cause – a Haute Hoodlum red carpet rant. The first of the year, nogal!
So sit back and get ready to start throwing your popcorn at the screen. Oh no wait, that’s not what this is…
These next few dresses I have a serious problem with. Nudes and neutrals can be a smash hit on the red carpet and there have been some exquiiiiiiiisite dresses in recent years that were on the skin-tone spectrum. But when I cannot tell where you end and your dresses begins, you’re going to be on this list. I do not wish to play and hide with you and what you’re wearing.
That’s it for now. Keep an eye open for the best-dressed list, because luckily for my heart and soul there are those who actually do it right.
Ok, I can breathe again. There is a light at the end of the very dark and hideous fashion tunnel.
Below are my choices for best dressed at this year’s Met Gala. I already know that some people are going to disagree wholeheartedly and that is totally cool. One of fashion’s greatest values is its ability to initiate conversation formed from a difference of opinions. Style is subjective, too, so we will never agree on everything. So let me know who you loved or hated in the comments section at the end of this post; I would really love to hear from you guys!
Some of these looks are my favourite because they are just exquisite and beautifully styled (from shoes and accessories to hair and makeup). But most of them are more beautiful to me because they either represent a fashion risk (this night is all about couture, innovative style, and fashion MOMENTS, after all) or because they actually took the theme to heart. For those who are unsure; the Met Gala is hosted at The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York and takes place the same day that the museum opens its annual fashion exhibition. The theme for the gala is extrapolated from the exhibition – they are not the same but are similar. The 2015 fashion exhibition at the Met is China: Through The Looking Glass and the gala followed with a theme that encapsulates just that in forms of art and fashion.
A lot of people blatantly ignore the theme and that kinda pisses me off. So when someone incorporates it into their ensemble; I am already looking at it more closely and with more respect. At least, initially.
So here we are, my best dressed from Monday’s Met Gala…
As usual, RIRI pulled out all the stops and has created a massive divide between those who love this and those who absolutely hate it (or as Sam Sam so brilliantly put it, thinks it looks like scrambled egg; which I actually cannot argue with). But the more I look at this, the more I die of obsession over it. That fabric is PHENOMENAL and the train is everything. This is the goddam Met Gala people; so why not? This is fashion. It’s couture. It’s a risk. It is dramatic to the next lev. IT IS PERFECTION.
Let’s hear it for the boys…
Thank the Pope for these beauties. Now I can sleep peacefully.
Oh, you thought I wasn’t going to post my worst dressed from the 87th Academy Awards just because I was so impressed with the red carpet? You thought that because I was on site on events all day and contracted the Black Plague that I would rid you of your sartorial pleasures by not dishing out harsh criticisms? You thought I would spare those idiots that thought they rocked the red carpet?
Always, always be prepared for a Haute Hoodlum rant because let’s face it – it’s what I do. Tearing through the mirage of golden gowns and exposing those stupid enough to wear a dress that doesn’t fit and looks terrible and is just plain hideous is one of my greatest strengths (and joys in life). Awards Season is now over and you, my sweet loves, shall be treated to one last worst dressed of the period: The Oscars. Hollywood’s biggest night and, so often, fashion’s biggest failures.
I don’t need to go into detail about the underwhelming nature of expectant red carpets (I realize that sounds like red carpets who are 8 months pregnant but I have the flu so please overlook that) so, for the last time this season, I will leave you with my choices for the train wreck catastrophes at the 2015 Oscars.
Have fun little darlings…
Julianne Moore, I have a bone to pick with you. This entire Awards Season you have been absolutely killing it in the fashion department. You have shown all these young girls how to dress with class and sex appeal and have worn some of the most exquisite gowns I have ever seen. You are also pasty with red hair and yet you have looked INCREDIBLE every single time. You have also won every single time. So surely, suuuuurely, you at least had an inkling that you would win the Oscar. In my mind that means wearing the most sensational dress that flatters you in all the right ways and makes you look like the glamourous, beautiful woman and movie star that you are. So you went with Chanel. A good choice for a winner. But this Chanel? ARE YOU FVCKING KIDDING ME? This dress is the same colour as your above mentioned pasty skin and, albeit exquisite on the runway or on a model, is so completely underwhelming on you. It does not hug your curves or enhance your figure and simply does not make an impact. And that makes me very sad.
And then, just when you thought that you had made sense of the pitfalls and wrapped your head around these style sacrifices; this bint arrived looking like a bad comedown. I don’t know who you are or what your deal is, but if you are going to walk the Oscars red carpet then please refrain from looking like a drug-induced prozzie that made her dress out of leftover Asian restaurant curtains and silk from the hotel she snuck out of at 5am.
And so it finally happened – the biggest night in awards season took place last night and after all the huffing and puffing we eventually wound up with some spectacular red carpet fashion choices! The 87th Annual Academy Awards marked the end of a long and often treacherous awards season that had its fair share of dreary dresses and WHAT THE ACTUALS? But there is a light at the end of that dark fashion don’ts tunnel, and that light shone bright last night.
Don’t get too excited, there is MUH-HOST DEFS a red carpet rant in the wings; but for now let us revel in the wows and yesses and the oh-my-goodness-she-finally-got-it-rights!
No surprise as to the night’s biggest winners in terms of who took home little golden men; but I am happy to report that some of this season’s worst dressed pulled their shit together (or hired new stylists) and NAILED it. I’m looking at you, Rosamund Pike.
The Oscars stuck to a colour palette of mostly monochrome, sparkles and nudes, with a few stars going for bold and bright primary colours: trends that echo the entire season and are a surefire sign of what’s to come in department stores and local lookbooks in the coming months.
So here we go, the end of the journey and my penultimate post for the 2015 Awards Show series: the best dressed at the 87th Academy Awards.
Let me know your thoughts and if you like what you see here, don’t be afraid to hit that follow button! There is so much in store for Haute Hoodlum this year, you really don’t want to miss out (plus I literally get funnier every day).
Last night (Thursday); I was invited to my second Zomato Meet Up for Food Bloggers held at Eighty88Ate – the restaurant at The Cape Hollow Boutique Hotel which juuuuuust so happens to be my neighbour. And you know what they say; love thy neighbour.
Zomato is an incredible company to be partnered with – starting out in India and expanding globally at an exponential rate. The Cape Town team has also grown in leaps and bounds in the last few months and it is really awesome to be a part of their extended family. 2015 is going to be a big year for Zomato, already launching their partnership with Uber – a worldwide campaign that launched in February, with the initial rollout happening simultaneously in London, Cape Town, Johannesburg and Durban. 2015 is also going to be a big year for me, personally, and for the blog so WOOP.
But back to the event…
10 people, including 2 Zomato reps, is the perfect number for an intimate dinner that still allows you to meet new people and make new foodie friends. Plus it is exclusive enough that you feel special, and everybody loves to feel special.
We met at the bar at Eighty88Ate – a restaurant that has just seen a complete makeover thanks to the beautiful renovations at the hotel. Immediately served champagne – that’s 10 points right there, Zomato – all the bloggers introduced each other, although most of us had an idea of who was who thanks to the strange world of social media and the Internet.
Once we were seated at “the perfect table for 10″, head chef Sunet introduced the food & wine pairing menu, going through each dish and the combination of flavours; as well as explaining what Moskonfeit is – ‘when the farmer has pressed the grapes and made the wine, he has leftover skins that he throws away. Then, when he isn’t looking, his wife collects the residual grapes and makes jam with them. I have used that jam instead of the usual apricot jam in your bobotie parcels. It’s very Cape Town”.
So, first course.
Three small, but perfectly portioned starters: Oysters with Pineapple and Red Onion Salsa, Parmesan-Crusted Asparagus Crisps with Roasted Garlic Aioli and Beef Carpaccio Canapés; each served with a complimentary wine pairing.
Now let me just express my situation here: I have never had an oyster. I have never wanted to have an oyster. Oysters creep me out.
I ate an oyster. The foodie/blogger pressure is REAL and everyone was reveling in how great the oysters were and I was just sitting their, shaking in my Zara heels. Luckily, another girl was also an Oyster virgin (so was Dave, our token guy, but he just slurped the slimy thing without any fuss so I am not counting his experience as valid here). So, with much pep talk, I did it. I had a frikkin oyster. It was slimy and chewy and gross but I did it and that’s done. Goodbye.
Anyway, the starters were all delicious (although the asparagus could have been hotter, as my adorable PE friend, Jenna Manthe, pointed out). But all-in-all, a great start to the evening and really beautifully displayed. Oh, another thing is that I don’t drink red wine (like, ever) and last night I had THREE GLASSES. All different and all, I must admit, quite delicious. Not too strong or too bold, or two ‘red-winey’, but smooth and delicate and lovely when sipped after their corresponding dishes.
So now I eat oysters and drink red wine. Good Lord, I’m fancy.
Drinks and conversation both flowing; the first of the second course plates was served: Moskonfeit Bobotie Phyllo Pockets and another red wine. Now let me tell you something; this is not jou ouma se bobotie wat jy’t op die plaas as a kinder geeet. This is gourmet bobotie that is presented below a tower of crystalized noodles and tastes even better than jou ouma s’n. YES I SAID IT. Eighty88Ate beats granny. Flippin delicious, full of flavour and all wrapped in a crisp, crunchy phyllo pastry pocket. DELISHSTIXX.
Then, a small palate cleanser that tasted like the birth child of a lemon and a pineapple (I mean that in the best way) cleared our taste buds in preparation for the next dish: Braised Lamb Shank in Red Wine Sauce on Garlic Cauliflower Mash (#banting). I am not usually a fan of lamb, and especially lamb shank. Anything on the bone freaks me out and I do my utmost to avoid it. Now obviously I couldn’t refuse the food and, as I have mentioned, being at a table with foodies changes things and makes you think you can/should try new things (hence my third glass of red by this point). It is probably a good thing though, to be surrounded by like-minded individuals who appreciate food as much as you do but may do so in a different way or over alternative flavours that makes you sit up and think “hey, it can’t be that bad”. The lamb was actually delicious, although I still struggled with the sinewy texture and didn’t clear my plate like the rest. The cauliflower mash was also super tasty and I LOVED the bowl the dish came in. Classic.
And then dessert. OMFG. A trio of desserts – something I really dig because then you get to enjoy multiple tastes and textures without getting too much of one type. This is actually one of my favourite ways of eating in general, but is particularly conducive to dessert when there are rich, indulgent flavours that you can get over quite quickly (I don’t have a sweet tooth – I prefer salty, savoury flavours. Give me the lime green Pringles over chocolate any day).
Rose Terrine (my number one choice), Chocolate Brownie in a mini-cup of Chocolate Ganache and Sparkling Wine Jelly. The latter literally exploded in your mouth and fizzed and popped and was like a firework on your tongue. All accompanied with a dessert wine that was juuuust too sweet for me.
I think it goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway) that I was extremely full and EXTREMELY SATISFIED. Looking at the menu at first, I was a little nervous as to what I would actually enjoy eating and drinking because so much of it is not what I usually go for. But that is what these foodie meet ups and Zomato is all about – exposing you to new foods and flavours and encouraging something a little extra, a little unexpected.
The evening was a total success and a lot of fun, and I also got to bust out my brand new Canon 1200D so YIPPEE HOORAY.
Thanks again to Zomato, and especially Jenny Coulson for the invite, and for creating an absolutely awesome experience.
My goodness, how long has this taken? Too long, duh. But let us not look a gift horse in the mouth because the Fashion Gods have smiled upon us mere mortals and presented us with actual wow moments on a red carpet. The 2015 BAFTAS was a roaring success sartorially, and I am so thrilled to be sitting here writing this post. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love the Brits and how much I love London. And fashion. So when you combine all of these elements into one shining beacon of cinematic stardom; well ya got me. Ya got me gooooooood.
The BAFTAS took place the same night as The Grammys and ICMYI, I already rounded up my best and worst dressed from the music awards earlier this week. But thank goodness for the BAFTAS because there is strength in redemption and light at the end of a very dark awards season tunnel. This is not to say there weren’t some terrors on the red carpet; but there might not have been enough to warrant a rant (say that fast ten times).
So here you go, the belles of the ball (and the beaus, too) that restored my hope in celebrity style.
And in case that wasn’t enough, this happened at the Chanel pre-BAFTA party: Tom Ford and Julianne Moore partied like it was 1999.